MS

     During my last job I was fortunate to work with a number of dedicated, professional teachers.  One of these teachers, Kathy, was the epitome of what makes a life-changing teacher.  She worked endless hours at school and at home on English lesson plans and correcting papers.  She devoted any leftover time coaching the same kids she taught during the school day.  Every year seniors selected a favorite, respected staff member to deliver the commencement speech at their graduation ceremony.  Of course, Kathy was chosen I believe more than once. 
     Kathy's husband, Dick, also loved working with high school kids and devoted an enormous amount of time helping Kathy coach tennis and Nordic skiing, and after he retired, tutoring kids in math.  Since they never had children of their own, they spent more time than the average parent volunteering.  They loved traveling too, enjoying many trips together and with friends.  If there were any airline bonus points they couldn't use, Kathy would turn them over to me so that I could buy magazines with them for the kids at our high school.
 

Dick retired before Kathy, and both were looking forward to continued travel and volunteering with kids together after Kathy's retirement.  Unfortunately, Dick was diagnosed was mesothelioma which he evidently contracted decades before during a summer college job.  He died not long after the diagnosis.  Around the same time Kathy was told she had multiple sclerosis.  The illness took a quick toll on her body and at Dick's memorial gathering in 2009 she was already in a wheelchair.  It was unbearable seeing this formerly vibrant, bright, energetic, healthy woman so sad and incapacitated.  No words were available to relay the needed comfort.  They just didn't exist.
     I knew that her friends from the English department visited her, but I hadn't yet joined them. When I retired, I was anxious to reconnect with Kathy.  So last week a former colleague and I met her for lunch at Boutwells Landing, the senior assisted living residence in Oak Park Heights where Kathy lives.  The facility was beautiful and even had a Perkins-style dining area.  We ordered our lunches from a staff member, but it felt more like a restaurant with a server waiting on us.  The food was good, and of course Kathy insisted on paying the tab.  After dessert we followed Kathy to her apartment which was very pleasant as well.
     Kathy now can only move her left hand which she uses to control the motorized wheelchair she needs to get around.  She was able to turn her head and speak, both with effort, and could carry on a conversation.  I'm not sure if it's a blessing or a curse, but while this disease has left her body helpless, it doesn't seem to have affected her mind.  We talked about all the usual things 3 women talk about: kids, families, politics, movies, friends, trips and books.  Kathy told us about two of the other residents also afflicted with MS who had had a successful operation to alleviate some of the symptoms.  One had taken her first steps in twelve years.  This fact brought Kathy to tears because she has undergone the same surgery 3 times with no results.  One of the surgeries helped her right hand for awhile, but the hand ended up to reverting to its pre-surgery state.  She can scoot around her apartment unaided, but has to call someone to get out of her chair for any reason:  to go to the bathroom, take a shower, sit on the couch or sit at her desk.  How does one comfort a friend who faces these unimaginable events?  I still don't have the words.
     Because of her generous and persistent spirit, Kathy has now taken it upon herself to proofread papers for a young Somali man employed by Boutwells who is going to school.  I can only aspire to such generosity.  For now I'm trying to appreciate what I have.  So when I get antsy, bored or ornery for some superficial reason, I try to take a moment to remember how absolutely lucky I am.  After all, my legs are still able to make the trek from that horribly inconvenient parking spot into the store.  My hand can scratch an irritating mosquito bite.  My waist can bend to re-tie shoe laces that have come undone for the 15th time.  My body can get me up from the couch to answer a call from yet another annoying phone solicitor, or get me out of bed before I really want to because the dog has to pee.  It's not easy to remind myself what true inconvenience, annoyance and hardship can be, but I am trying because the old adage is so true:  If you don't have your health, you don't have anything.

Frankie's Still Got It

   The last two days have been fun-filled.  On Wednesday we celebrated Jan's birthday by going over to Deb & Dan's and having a scrumptious dinner.  She served a roast beef from Costco.  It comes in a plastic sack.  You microwave it for 10 minutes and voila, you have roast beef that tastes just like your mom makes, or my mom anyway, with gravy to boot!  It was great.  She also had philly-sour cream mashed potatoes, tequila berry salad, corn and Boston cream pie for dessert.  After dinner we all went to the back yard and sat around a bonfire.  Splendid night.

     Last night, thanks to Dan, we had Savoy pizza and then went to Mystic Lake Casino to see Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons.  Frankie is still the original, but the Four Seasons are now 20-something bucks who do a bang up job of harmonizing and dancing behind Frankie.  I've seen him in person before but again was stunned at his height.  Even with Cuban heels, the top of his head barely grazed the chins of the new Seasons. It says online that he's 5' 5", which would make the Seasons about 6' 8".  Not sure I'm buying it.  It's amazing that this tiny 78-year-old man who could have just jumped off the top of a wedding cake can still belt out that wonderful falsetto exactly like he did nearly 50 years ago while barely moving his lips.  He's not too mobile on stage...oh, once in awhile he'll bust a 30 degree bend, or raise his left hand from its comfortable limp-wrist position, but he doesn't need to be too animated.  The boys move enough for three Frankies.  Frankie is the Man.  He's calm.  He's in control.  He oozes class and suavity.  Further, there's practically an entire orchestra behind him and the boys.  It includes a local horn section from whatever town he's playing, his own guitarists, saxophonist, drummer and keyboardist who also happens to be his music director of 33 years.  All of them provide 90 non-stop minutes of hits.  Not just music, but every single song is a big hit we all remember.  No wonder Jersey Boys won a Tony.  The music is timeless.

     The highlight for me, however, of this wonderful evening was when they sang Groovin' recorded by the Young Rascals in 1967.  I was singing along in my mind when Frankie and the boys crooned, "...you and me endlessly....groovin' on a Sunday afternoon."  For 44 years I've thought it was, "...you and me AND LESLIE...groovin' on a Sunday afternoon."  Talk about a revelation.  I've been wondering all of this time who Leslie was and what Leslie had to do with the song.  Was Leslie a fictional character or a real life friend of the lyracist or a band member?  Was there some secret message in the song for Leslie?  No longer do I have to ponder these questions....wait for it......endlessly.

Shingles and Sauerkraut

     I just realized I hadn't blogged (can't believe that's a verb now and I'm using it) for a whole week and thought, "Oh, ya, that's right.  I've been really busy."  So I looked at the calendar to see what I've been doing as I can't readily call these things to mind anymore, and guess what?  Not so much.  Apparently it just feels like I've been overly busy because I'm operating on RP (retired pace) these days.

     I had some friends over for dinner Friday which meant cleaning the house on Wednesday, grocery shopping and cooking on Thursday and finishing cooking on Friday.  There are 3 days right there.  During the 48 hours it took for me to prepare the meal:  sauerkraut & pork chops, garlic beef au jus, chive mashed potatoes, squash, tomatoes with pesto, Thai broccoli slaw salad and chocolate mousse, I was reminded of my childhood.  My mom would work a full day, come home and prepare vegetables, fruit and roast beef with mashed potatoes and gravy in a matter of hours.  Oh, I forgot dessert.  There was always dessert.  I now am in awe of her juggling and cooking skills, which doesn't make up for all the years I took her abilities and energy for granted, thinking all moms just did that.  I can't believe what she could accomplish effortlessly in such a short amount of time.  It takes me FOREVER to do anything food related besides eat it.  I repeatedly forget this fact and estimate, "Oh, dinner will be ready by 6:00," when I know that if I think it's going to be 6:00, it's really going to be 6:30.  I did not inherit my mom's ability to coordinate food prep end time.  But I did inherit her ability to enjoy the food!

     Another part of this busy week was spent getting my shingles and flu shots.  If you're 60 or older, I'm told you need a shingles shot.  I've known people who have had shingles and I do not want them.  One go-around with chicken pox was plenty, and since shingles are simply another name for those relentlessly itchy, stinging, nasty little poxes hanging around on your nerve endings just waiting for an opportunity to erupt, I jumped at the chance for a shot.  I had to show up for my appointment 15 minutes early so that I could visit the Allina business office and sign a form promising I'd pay for the shingles vaccination if for some reason my insurance didn't cover it.  Luckily for me, I'm covered, and will NOT be getting shingles thankyouverymuch.

   On the same day I visited the Apple store for a one to one session on why my external hard drive wasn't working when I tried to back up.

     The tech fiddled with it for 45 minutes and decided it was a faulty hard drive.  This made me feel pretty darn good as I thought I was once again in computer idiot mode when I couldn't get it to work.  Unfortunately, the Apple store wouldn't replace it.  I had to phone the hard drive company.  When I called I was told these sorts of issues were handled online.  So I hung up, found the correct spot on the website despite the incorrect directions from the person on the phone and started chatting online with another tech telling her there's no need to go through everything as I had already spent 45 minutes with an expert the day before.  I merely wanted to know how to replace it and make sure the info on the old one was destroyed.  She, of course, wanted to trouble shoot.  "OOOOOKKKKKKK," I sighed gritting my teeth....more wasted time.  So what if I have all the time in the world?  I didn't want to spend it trouble shooting my broken hard drive. I connected the hard drive to my computer, and of course, it worked.  Since I have a 3 year warranty on it, I decided to keep it for awhile to see if it REALLY works.  Maybe the connection was just loose.  And how long did all of that take?  The Apple store trip involved 2 hours and the session with the hard drive company another 1-1/2 hrs.  That's an entire afternoon.  Practically.
    Another day this week I visited a former colleague who has MS and I also attended a wedding where I reconnected with a cousin I hadn't seen for nearly 30 years, but I'm just too busy to write more right now.  I have to eat lunch.

Weekday Breakfasts and Lunches Out

   Yesterday MM2 and I went on a short excursion and drove south to Pepin, Wisconsin.  Originally we had scheduled the trip so that we could enjoy the leaves, but what with the wind and rain lately, most of them were gone.  It was still a very pleasant day and the highlight was having lunch at one of my all-time favorite restaurants, The Harbor View.  I've been making the 1-1/2 hour trip to this spot for 30 years now and the food is always impeccable.  I had a mere half chicken, broccoli and potatoes, and MM2 had lasagna -- just a light lunch.  I noticed that most of the patrons had white, gray or dyed hair.  This was because it was 1:00 on a Thursday when most working stiffs are busy making the world turn and when we retired slugs get to do whatever we damn well please.

     On the way back we stopped at a place called The Point in a suburb of St. Paul to have pie and were amazed to walk into what seemed like a small town cafe where the farmers meet after morning chores for coffee.  There was a circle of men talking loudly about golf, politics and women.  If they had had accents, I would have thought I was in Deliverance, except these guys weren't talking about pigs squealing and other nasty things.  They were just commiserating over coffee.  Although they were a tad boisterous, it struck me as pretty fine that these good ole' boys had in reality formed a sort of support group that met over pie instead of beers and a bump.
     Last week MM2 and I went to a place along the Mississippi River for breakfast where I had memorable huevos rancheros made with a corn tortilla, black beans, sausage, poached eggs, cheese and sour cream. They were served with field greens and Gouda hash browns. This was the best breakfast I'd had in years.  The Wilde (as in Oscar) Roast is in an area called St. Anthony Main where in my wanton youth I spent many a margarita sipping night at GuadalaHarry's or feasting on great pasta at Prachna on Main.  I hadn't been in the area for years and was sad that so many of the places I knew were no longer there.  However, the Wilde Roast is a top notch replacement for whatever was in that spot before.  I can't remember because I'm old now.

  

October Boating in Minnesota

     I love that I can say yes to last minute invitations now.  For example, a month ago I had scheduled a couple of appointments for yesterday.  Two days ago my good friend asked if MM2 and I would like to join her, her SO and another friend for a day of boating on Lake Minnetonka.   We immediately said, "Yes!" and cancelled our previous appointments.  Off we went to this instead:

 And this:

Otis the Wonder Dog came with too and proceeded to dive into the water from the boat.  Luckily he was promptly rescued.  He was left a bit dazed, however:

We were all relieved when he soon regained his boat persona, Otis in Charge:

When the paparazzi showed up, he resorted to his windblown look as it often works well on women:

Unfortunately, shortly thereafter a herd of seagulls started to surround us due to the mysterious appearance of airborne cheese popcorn flying from our boat :

They startled Captain Dan as they began their attack:

  Don't you just love campy photos?

     It was a fabulously memorable day and reminded me of the importance of:

• good friends who are generous beyond imagination
  
• endless laughing with same good friends
  
• spectacularly rare 80 degree October days 
• Lake Minnetonka on a Wednesday during the day when it's unbelievably boat-free
• Lakeside towns where you can dock a boat and walk around window shopping and eating ice cream cones
• leaves that look like fireworks
  
• boats with CD players that provide sixties music
• people my age who still relish this music
• seagulls who like eating popcorn and posing for pictures
  
• patio lunches and dinners of hamburgers, french fries with Bearnaise sauce, squash soup, Guinness, shrimp, crab and scallop salad, chicken wings, pork chops, martinis, pasta and Cabernet
• dogs that fall in the water and bark at birds
• the freedom that retirement offers

61

     I turned 61 this week.  The birthday day itself was pleasant albeit uneventful, but I did celebrate by treating myself to a Bruegger's bagel with honey-walnut cream cheese.  Better than a birthday cake!  Then instead of going straight home, I drove east through farmland and enjoyed the stunningly beautiful fall day.
     The next day, however, was the annual party at my mom's.  My mom is 86 and still cooks Sunday dinner for my 2 sisters and me.  Can you imagine?  On our birthdays she always makes our favorite meal.  Mine, of course, is turkey dinner complete with stuffing, mashed spuds and gravy.  She came through again, walker and all, bless her heart.  There were leftovers so I got 2 more days of birthday dinner to boot.  My sister got my favorite dessert, French silk pie, and I was happy happy!  I also got fabulous presents including a coffee pod holder for my new single serving Keurig coffee maker, a mandolin for julienne veggie cutting, money, wine, and one of these:

Just what every 61 year old dreams about:  not your average, run of the mill heating pad, oh no.  Mine is a deluxe, extra long little number!  Now I can drink a perfect cup of coffee while relaxing with my new extra long heating pad or sip a glass of Malbec while relaxing with my new extra long heating pad or julienne slice jicama while relaxing with my new extra long heating pad.  The opportunities are endless.